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Crazy Asian Parent

How many of you people have problems with your mom?

Probably many, more than what people expected.

I had problems with my mother.  And since people had things to do, places to go and people to see, I'll make this one short.
  1. She calls me fat even when I weight 120 lbs at the height of 5'2".
  2. She tells me that I'm stupid at everything, that I don't have common sense and I'm only book smart.
  3. She tells me that I have problems with my temper when in fact she like changes her mood every 5 seconds.
  4. She nags and nags that we waste a lot of money even when we buy her stuff for her birthday or for Mother's day.
  5. She reads my text messages and emails and NEVER asks my permission.
  6. She thinks that when I help her I'm trying to go against her and tell her that she's useless.
  7. But when I don't help her she will scream at me and say that I'm a good for nothing child who has no respect.
  8. She kept on complaining that she doesn't feel well, but when I ask her to go to the doctor she'll accuse me that I want her to die early.
  9. She thinks that all the people in the house is against her or hate her, but in reality she just changes her mood SO MUCH that we really don't know what she really wants.  She's paranoid beyond comprehension.
  10. She screams at me that I'm stupid and that I'm an ungrateful person that she should not have fed me my whole life.
See here, I'm not going to call her crazy.  I'm not accusing her that she's a crazy ass bitch or something like that.  What complicates this situation is that I know what my mother has, and I know what she's feeling.

Because I am a doctor.

No, I'm not just any medical student in their freshmen year trying to impress people that they got into med school.  No - I have my license to prove it.

So I can't do anything about it, because another thing that complicates it is that I'm Asian.  You know traditional Asian people - they're afraid of white/black people, they're afraid of medicine, they accuse doctors of giving them diseases, and they treat their kids like a slaves when they get older because THE ASIAN PARENTS FED THEM WITH RICE AND SOY SAUCE.

I am grateful - I'm not denying that.  But what I am hating silently right now is that they do not listen to my advices even when it's legitimate or logical, just because I'm their child, I AM ONLY THEIR CHILD AND NOTHING MORE.

So, to the readers out there, I want you to leave a comment below and tell me - do you have any problems with your parent/s?  And if you do, what are they?  How do you get by living with them everyday?


Sep. 3rd, 2009 12:35 pm (UTC)
similarities do exist.
My parents are not as extreme but I definitely recognize some of what you wrote. The not listening to any of my advices because I am only their child. The telling me I am stupid all the time. Telling me I'm too dumb to function in real life because - shock, horror, gasp - I don't clean my windows often enough. My mom nags at everything I'm doing, what I'm wearing, whatever. I can't do anything right.

Similarities do exist in our worlds. She used to scream and hit me with a wooden ruler when I was 9 years old because my study cabinet was a mess. If my memory served me right, she burned the edges on the few pages of one of my books as punishment.

I also understand you regarding about the "faith"-thing. If I were your mother I would have been proud that my child already thinks so maturely for her age...

I really think what helped me was distance.

I also agree with you about the distant-relationship principle. I was away for more than three months and I felt so much happier and more alive when I was away from her. When I came back home, all the happiness just caved in.

I believe that grandparents/parents are there to advise us about many things, because they have more experience and wisdom in life. What I wish to ask from them is that when their kids do voice out their own decisions or reasons, is that for these older people to listen to then without judgement, without calling them "dumb" or "stupid", and maybe to reprimand them in a non-emotionally abusive way.

I wish you happiness now that you've moved out of your parents' house. And thank you for taking the time to read my post.



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