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Crazy Asian Parent

How many of you people have problems with your mom?

Probably many, more than what people expected.

I had problems with my mother.  And since people had things to do, places to go and people to see, I'll make this one short.
  1. She calls me fat even when I weight 120 lbs at the height of 5'2".
  2. She tells me that I'm stupid at everything, that I don't have common sense and I'm only book smart.
  3. She tells me that I have problems with my temper when in fact she like changes her mood every 5 seconds.
  4. She nags and nags that we waste a lot of money even when we buy her stuff for her birthday or for Mother's day.
  5. She reads my text messages and emails and NEVER asks my permission.
  6. She thinks that when I help her I'm trying to go against her and tell her that she's useless.
  7. But when I don't help her she will scream at me and say that I'm a good for nothing child who has no respect.
  8. She kept on complaining that she doesn't feel well, but when I ask her to go to the doctor she'll accuse me that I want her to die early.
  9. She thinks that all the people in the house is against her or hate her, but in reality she just changes her mood SO MUCH that we really don't know what she really wants.  She's paranoid beyond comprehension.
  10. She screams at me that I'm stupid and that I'm an ungrateful person that she should not have fed me my whole life.
See here, I'm not going to call her crazy.  I'm not accusing her that she's a crazy ass bitch or something like that.  What complicates this situation is that I know what my mother has, and I know what she's feeling.

Because I am a doctor.

No, I'm not just any medical student in their freshmen year trying to impress people that they got into med school.  No - I have my license to prove it.

So I can't do anything about it, because another thing that complicates it is that I'm Asian.  You know traditional Asian people - they're afraid of white/black people, they're afraid of medicine, they accuse doctors of giving them diseases, and they treat their kids like a slaves when they get older because THE ASIAN PARENTS FED THEM WITH RICE AND SOY SAUCE.

I am grateful - I'm not denying that.  But what I am hating silently right now is that they do not listen to my advices even when it's legitimate or logical, just because I'm their child, I AM ONLY THEIR CHILD AND NOTHING MORE.

So, to the readers out there, I want you to leave a comment below and tell me - do you have any problems with your parent/s?  And if you do, what are they?  How do you get by living with them everyday?


Sep. 3rd, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC)
"I think she was just saying I was on drugs because she didn't want to admit I actually had problems as a result of sexual abuse."

Now there's one of the root of the problems. Denial was never, is never and will never be a good thing.

Lately she had been blaming a lot of things on me, and what I'm worried about is that she'll snap at the slightest, most trivial things. For the past two years I've been telling her to get professional help, but she says that "it will go away on its own". First I tried giving hints, then later on I tell it to her face openly, without pretenses. I gave up helping her because she never listens to me at all when I talk about these things. She'll just turn away, talk about something irrelevant or scream at me for something trivial, like "Why are you drinking cold water? Cold water is bad for you."

My nationality is a bit bizarre - I have Filipino, Chinese and Spanish blood in me.

"My grandmother tries to guilt trip me..."

It just occurred to me that most parents/guardians use this tactic to teach their children. Do you still remember the positive and negative conditioning in psychology 101? I feel that it's more gearing to the side of negative conditioning. That's true in my case - instead of wanting to be with my mother because of her various "guilt trips", I don't want to be around her anymore, because instead of sharing something positive she'll throw in a lot of "you're dumb/fat/loser" type of topics in any conversation.

Sometimes on Intervention they say when you tell the person something they don't want to hear, they will get verbally abusive but they are just making noise the same way a kid throws a tantrum.

This is very true. It is like they wanted to hear things that they REALLY want to hear (e.g., praises, achievements) and Asians (especially the chinese) believe that by throwing in a lot of these positive stuff they will cancel and channel out all the negative stuff. That is hypocrisy. I personally don't believe in that "principle".

Thanks again for taking the time to ready my post/reply. I wish that a miracle will happen and my mother will help herself get well instead of covering it up.



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